Tags: cute

giraffe

Box of Awesome: Revealed

As promised, I will reveal the contents of my Box of Awesome, sent to me by genagirl, in return for the box o' crap that I sent her.

When I looked in my foyer for the mail, I found an intriguing brown cardboard box.  (Note: I took a picture of it before I opened it, but you can read my address on it, so if I posted it I'd have to lock the post, which I don't want to do.)

Little did I know that its mild-mannered exterior concealed a Box. Of. Awesome.

Edit: Sorry for putting these huge photos on everybody's flist...there is supposed to be a cut here, but it isn't working.
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giraffe

Teddy House Ficlet

 For the RSL's B-day charity drive, imfreakinorange requested a fic where Teddy House encounters an animatronic teddy bear.  This is the result.  Approx. 1000 words. 

 

“You’d better behave,” Wilson warned House in an undertone. After the near-bearnapping, he’d sworn to himself that he’d never take House to the mall again until he was back to his normal form--and possibly not even then--but that was before House had managed to destroy each and every one of his tiny outfits, including his hated onesies. His chinos and one shirt had been covered in blue ink when House decided to break a pen in half so it would be a more convenient size for him to hold. The jeans and a sweatshirt were so saturated with jam and ketchup that Wilson had tried to put them through the wash, where they had promptly fallen apart. The “chick magnet” onesie somehow ended up flushed halfway down the toilet, and the other one had had an unfortunate run-in with a paper shredder. Only House’s sneakers, sunglasses, and tiny leather jacket had survived the rampage of destruction.

 

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giraffe

A Very Threesome Christmas: 2/2

 

Chase was glad that he didn’t have to work the next weekend. Last weekend’s surprise had been pretty overwhelming to come home to, but House had intimated that there were more Christmas preparations to come, and he wanted to help with some of them. They started the morning in the usual lazy-Saturday way--with sex and breakfast in bed--but he was still in a post-orgasmic doze when House announced, “Okay, everybody up!” and started throwing clothes at them.

“What are we doing now?” he wondered out loud.

Wilson, tugging a shirt over his head, said, “Are we starting the--”

“Wilson!” House admonished him.

“--thing, already?” he finished weakly.

 

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giraffe

A Very Threesome Christmas: Part 1

Continuity note: This story takes place after “Beginnings: The Threesome Prequel,” and off to the side of “I Have a Little Dreidel.”

A/N: This is the Christmas tree stand that House and Wilson are using.   The technology has improved so much in the last ten or fifteen years that I thought some people might not be familiar with this type. (They are, as House and Wilson’s experience suggests, a bit rubbish.)

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“Planning a conversion?”

Wilson jumped as House loomed up behind him, almost dropping the box of hand-blown Christmas ornaments he was holding. “No,” he said defensively.

“You’re not getting those for the Pediatrics tree. Not at--” House glanced at the shelf “--twenty-nine ninety-nine for six ornaments.”

“I just thought they were nice.” He put the ornaments back on the shelf.

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giraffe

Teddy House Chapter 21/21: THE END

 

House stretched and yawned, flinging one arm out over the edge of the bed, and whacking Wilson in the chest with the other.

“Geddoff,” Wilson mumbled, pushing at him.

They hadn’t had this problem before, and it took House only a moment to realize why. He was once again six feet tall, and not noticeably furry. “Hey, Wilson, look!” he exclaimed, poking Wilson in the ribs.

“I’m sleeping,” Wilson pointed out, even though he obviously wasn’t.

 

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giraffe

Teddy House Chapter 20


A/N:  November 14 is National Teddy Bear Day in the US!  Celebrate by having a cup of tea and a sandwich with your best plush pal.  Of, if you like, donate a Teddy to a child in need. 

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When Wilson had been in bed long enough that House was pretty sure he wasn’t getting back up, he turned down the TV and slid off the sofa, pacing over to the window by the piano.

Wilson’s question--do you want to stay a Teddy forever?--had got him thinking. He didn’t really. As a small plush animal, there were even more things he couldn’t do than there had been when he was just a cripple. He couldn’t work, couldn’t play--piano or video games--couldn’t ride his bike. He couldn’t even go out in public, as the incident at Build-a-Bear had demonstrated, and Saturday’s fiasco had confirmed. Being a Teddy was simply not a viable lifestyle choice over the long term.

 

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giraffe

Teddy House: Chapter 19

This update is not as long as I expected it to be, but here it is!

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“Okay, you’re supposed to recite this bit.” Wilson held up the book in front of House.

House was sitting in the middle of a circle formed by four of the fancy candles Wilson had picked up at the Goddess Emporium. Wilson had a small bag full of salt and herbs, which he was apparently going to sprinkle around the apartment while House recited. “Dear Goddess grant me--” He scrunched up his face in distaste. “Do I have to?”

“Do you want to stay a Teddy forever?”

 

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giraffe

Teddy House: Chapter 18

 This is a very short update--really, a coda to the Zombie Attack chapter.   I expect to have a bigger update for y'all tomorrow.  

When they got home, House’s answering machine was full of messages from Chase and Cameron, telling him about journal articles dealing with the syndrome of delusional companions. “Why the fuck would I want to read those?” House wondered after the third one.

“I don’t know,” Wilson admitted. “Why don’t you ask them?”

“You can make those mushroom things while I call and do that,” House decided.

 

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giraffe

Teddy House: Chapter 17

“Two--I mean one--for Zombie Attack Three please.” Wilson handed over his eight-fifty and received a ticket.

When he carried the ticket three feet over to the ticket-taker, she glanced down at the large shopping bag he was carrying. “I’ll need to inspect your bag, sir.”

“What? Why?”

 

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giraffe

Teddy House: Chapter 16

Warning:  Short Chapter.  Contains brief scene of violence against small plush animal. 

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If House had thought being stuck in Wilson’s office all week was boring, that was nothing compared to the weekend. Wilson seemed to think that just because he was a Teddy bear, he had to stay in all weekend. That was okay on Friday night--they had pizza and beer, and watched some movies--but by Saturday afternoon, House was feeling stir-crazy.

Wilson had the Sunday Times--which he always bought on Saturdays--spread out on the coffee table. House leapt nimbly from the couch to occupy the page Wilson was currently trying to read. “Hey!” he said, noticing an ad. “The new Zombie Attack movie just opened!”

 

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